Living With an Alcoholic: How to Deal With an Alcoholic Spouse

Recovery is a lifelong process that doesn’t end once treatment is completed. But with the right treatment, a solid support network, and aftercare services, you and your husband can go on to live healthier, more fruitful lives. Once your husband has agreed to treatment, the real work begins—not only for him but for you as well. As you work through this new way of life, you may experience feelings of doubt, anger, resentment or sadness. But remember to be kind to yourself and don’t blame yourself for his actions or behaviors.

Understanding the experiences they might go through when they stop drinking may give you a more well-rounded view of the situation. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, binge drinking refers https://ecosoberhouse.com/ to having five or more drinks (for men) and four or more drinks (for women) in a 2-hour span. If you want to talk with your partner about their alcohol use but aren’t sure how to go about it, you’re not alone.

When Their Drinking is Affecting Your Mental Health

You’re likely to be concerned for your loved one and worry for their health, as well as worn down by their behaviours, or anxious about what they may do next. Limiting your child’s access to alcohol can reduce their risk of drinking.5 If you want to store alcohol, monitor them to ensure that your son or daughter is not drinking them in secret. Focus on your partner’s drinking and its effects rather than the person drinking. You can also search for online resources on alcohol use disorder. They might get stressed or overwhelmed, which can worsen their drinking problem.

According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the impact of alcoholism ripples through the entire family, causing distress among those of all ages. If your spouse is engaging in risky behavior, you may find your savings account depleted due to your spouse making erratic purchases or using the money to fuel their alcoholism. As stated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), how to live with an alcoholic excessive drinking can lead to short-term and long-term health risks. A partner’s AUD doesn’t just affect their health and your relationship. If your partner has been abusive in any way, Nelson advises talking to a trusted loved one, trained therapist, or both. Keep in mind, too, that therapists typically don’t recommend couples counseling for relationships that involve any kind of abuse.

How to deal with an alcoholic spouse

However, try to avoid targeting your spouse with those feelings. It may help to continually remind yourself that what you’re really angry at is the disease, not your spouse. As stated by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), an alcohol use disorder (AUD) is characterized by the inability to stop drinking alcohol. Just know couples therapy will likely only have benefit if they’re willing to do some self-work at the same time, either through individual therapy or an AUD treatment program. When discussing treatment options, aim for a time when they’re sober, alert, and at ease.

Stir the discussion to focus on your emotions and state your reservations. State them in a pitch that comes off as compassionate and free of any judgment. If minors are around, make sure there is someone wise around them to trust, a therapist or close friend. Since one of their parents is unable to meet up with their emotional requirements, it’s important the person that wishes to listen to them can do so without prejudice.

Effective Treatment Options for Alcoholism

Be ready to offer treatment options if they see reason with you and are prepared to change. You may need to stop the conversation and try again later if they become aggressive. It’s important to take care of yourself when dealing with an alcoholic spouse and not let their condition overwhelm you. If they can drink several bottles or shots of alcohol without any signs of being drunk, or if people talk about how much alcohol they can consume, that could be a sign of alcoholism.

• You may still want to help your loved one when they are in the middle of a crisis.
• Table 2 depicts the problems faced by the wives of alcoholic clients in terms of frequency distribution of rating done by them.
• When you live with a spouse who has an alcohol use disorder, taking care of yourself is important.
• Having a partner with AUD can take a toll on your well-being, which makes it essential to take care of your personal needs — physical and emotional.
• This reversal of responsibilities can lead the child to develop a pattern of codependency in future relationships.

Understand that recovery is a journey and not necessarily a one-time goal. A support group to build connections with others who are going through similar experiences can be beneficial. It’s also important to address your family’s own needs at this time. Make sure your children are eating a healthy diet and getting adequate exercise and sleep. A specific type of codependency can occur in children of those with AUD.

The Dos of Talking to your Alcoholic Partner about their Drinking

The group can give you a place to get social support and encouragement from others going through a similar situation. For example, if your loved one passes out in the yard and you carefully help them into the house and into bed, only you feel the pain. The focus then becomes what you did (moved them) rather than what they did (drinking so much that they passed out outside).

• As stated by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), an alcohol use disorder (AUD) is characterized by the inability to stop drinking alcohol.
• Consider trying to see things from your loved one’s point of view, even if it doesn’t make sense to you.
• Ultimately, the goal is for your spouse to receive the treatment they require.
• For some, the bottom may be loss of finances;  for others, it may be a spiritual emptiness;  and yet for others, it could be jail or psychiatric institutions.

You should seek help immediately if your partner’s alcoholism is starting to affect your finances. An alcoholic spouse is likely to be verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to their partner. If you have experienced domestic abuse from an alcoholic spouse or think you’re at risk, it’s necessary to take immediate steps to protect yourself or leave the environment. Watching someone you care about deteriorate into alcoholism can bring on a flood of emotions that you may not easily handle. Partners of alcoholics may start with denial, pretending the situation is not as serious as it seems.